


Delaying the Inevitable

by DahliaDear



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, Kinda Mushy, Minor Spoilers, Nothing serious, Now with smut!, Pre-breakup, Sentimental, Solas - Freeform, Solavellan, can you feel your heart breaking, female lavellan inquisitor - Freeform, might become explicit later, please suffer with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-11 08:01:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11144244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DahliaDear/pseuds/DahliaDear
Summary: There had to be some reason Trini Lavellan's lover didn't return her affections quite the way she hoped he would. No matter what she tried, Solas always seemed vaguely distant. Now she was determined to clear things up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [geekyjez](https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekyjez/gifts).



> I am a very private writer, so this was a huge leap for me to post this, LOL. I was always bothered by how reluctant Solas seemed in the game, and my conversations with him would have gone very differently if we weren't restricted to pre-written character script. This is how my conversation with him would have gone if I had the option!
> 
> Minor spoilers, but if you haven't at least finished the main game you might be a little confused. (Nothing from the Trespasser DLC, but if you've played it there are some Easter Eggs for you.)
> 
> I'm really tempted to add some smut, maybe in a second chapter but I haven't written any in aaaaaages, so I'm not sure. Maybe if I get 100 kudos or something I'll throw it in because why the hell not? I've already got bits of it in my head anyway. Don't forget to comment and tell me what you think!
> 
> Shout out to geekyjez for most of the Elvhen, and for inspiring me to do some studying of my own for the rest. Actually literally I wouldn't have done this whole thing if I hadn't become obsessed with her writing. Ma serannas!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am a very private writer, so this was a huge leap for me to post this, LOL. I was always bothered by how reluctant Solas seemed in the game, and my conversations with him would have gone very differently if we weren't restricted to pre-written character script. This is how my conversation with him would have gone if I had the option!
> 
> Minor spoilers, but if you haven't at least finished the main game you might be a little confused. (Nothing from the Trespasser DLC, but if you've played it there are some Easter Eggs for you.)
> 
> I'm really tempted to add some smut, maybe in a second chapter but I haven't written any in aaaaaages, so I'm not sure. Maybe if I get 100 kudos or something I'll throw it in because why the hell not? I've already got bits of it in my head anyway. Don't forget to comment and tell me what you think!
> 
> Shout out to geekyjez for most of the Elvhen, and for inspiring me to do some studying of my own for the rest. Actually literally I wouldn't have done this whole thing if I hadn't become obsessed with her writing. Ma serannas!

Trini had no idea how long she’d been pacing. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess as she traversed Skyhold, wandering the halls, climbing up and down the towers, trudging across the battlements. Even sparring in the courtyard was a vague memory of venting frustration until she felt overexposed, realizing that everyone’s eyes were on her, wondering what was up with their Inquisitor who seemed uncharacteristically distracted. Well, it was true. She had a lot on her mind. It was one of those days she wished she could ask Solas to bring her into the Fade, to show her what he saw: the memories, the ruins, the spirits that had passed through the Veil centuries ago; the events and emotions of a world so long past, her thoughts would be just as far removed.  
  
She sighed, even as she descended the steps from her personal quarters for the countless time today.

Solas…

Unfortunately, today was not one of those days. He had been avoiding her. Something seemed to be bothering him as much as his distance bothered her now. Solas. Trini longed to refer to the elven apostate as her lover, but he wasn’t, really. They were in love, yes, but one could hardly call them lovers. No matter how close they got, how much she longed for him, how much she tempted him, he was always reticent to touch her. That guarded face with almost regal demeanor, his hands clasped pensively behind his back. The hands that wouldn’t touch her...

The Dalish elf mulled it over as she sauntered into the Great Hall, pausing at the throne carved from the skull of a High Dragon she had personally slain. It wasn’t _her_ throne exactly, but she did sit on it when she had to pass judgement on prisoners of the Inquisition. She liked to think the massive skull struck fear and regret into their hearts, to fuel their eagerness to comply when she surprised them with her verdict: work to regain their honor and earn forgiveness. She and her ambassador Josephine had joked about it in private a few times. The memories brought her little solace now. Solas…

Her frustration was mounting. For months she had thought them a couple. All the time they spent together, the kisses, the passionate looks, the fervid words. Yet it all seemed… wanting, in more ways than one: wistful, yearning, incomplete. Like he wasn’t quite meeting her halfway. As though there was hesitance to his affection, whether from shyness or some private reservation. Well, it didn’t seem like shyness.

The leader of the arguably greatest power across the continent of Thedas ducked behind the throne to hide her face for a moment. Her hands pressed to her flushed and burning cheeks as she remembered her surprise at his boldness. Not much made Trini blush these days, but she did now--from head to toe--as she recalled those kisses she had initiated. How after she pulled away, apologetic, he seized her for another, his tongue delving into her mouth with unexpected eagerness, no uncertainty or innocence. The heated breath between them, the encouraging nips. Until he pushed her away and declared it wasn’t right. Even though it was technically only a dream.

It seemed every kiss that followed was the same. Her initiation, his apparent keenness… and then his objection. So many half-hearted rejections: they shouldn’t, it wasn’t right, he didn’t want to hurt her, she was the Inquisitor, it wouldn’t turn out well, it would be kinder not to in the long run, in the future…

Well, what _about_ the future!? She scoffed, dropping her hands and eyeing the door that lead back to her quarters. She steeled her spine, though--however tempted she may be to return to privacy and mope, it wasn’t like her. She hadn’t gotten to her current position by succumbing to depression. Deep thought and contemplation yes--but not sulking. Her fingers traced a familiar shallow furrow on the dragon skull throne, a testament to the power she wielded, the determination and fearlessness with which she approached life, struck by either her own blade or that of a companion who fought beside her. Her resolve hardened. If there was anything she knew about the future, it was that the future was inevitable. No one could know what would happen, so you had to take it in stride. Whatever it was, it would happen no matter how you tried to avoid it. And perhaps most importantly, it wasn’t here yet. Hadn’t he said he loved her? Hadn’t he alluded he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her?

It wasn’t a question of his attraction to her. There were no doubts in her mind, between the looks, the kisses, the way he shivered under her hands, the hitch in his breath, how his heart raced against hers, even the way he pushed her away alluded to some internal struggle. Hell--she had seen the tightening in his pants on more than one occasion. _Creators,_ how she longed to feel it pressed against her hip, the evidence of their mutual desire, while his fingers--she cut off the thought. It wouldn’t do to get carried away in a fantasy right now. But why should it be so far from reality?

Last night had been wonderful. She had been perhaps a bit too drunk, a bit too carried away when she slipped into his private quarters wearing nothing but her sleeping chemise and stockings. His eyes had turned dark and greedy while he made no objection to her perching at the edge of his desk where he sat, flashing a bit of thigh when she crossed her legs. She had said many things, promised him many pleasures, spoke of her desires in Elvhen while her hands worked into his tunic, encouraged when he rewarded her by licking his lips slowly. He wasn’t unaffected after all. Then the Inquisitor had let her knees open slightly and felt his hands flutter instinctively to her hips, pulling her down to straddle his lap. Excited shudders convulsed through her as the mage ground her body against his. But the spell was broken when she kissed him. Solas had frozen then and shoved her off, leaping out of his desk chair, and turned his back to her. What had gone wrong? She was the Inquisitor, he reminded her, it wouldn’t do to be caught sneaking into his chambers in her bed linens. He accused her of drinking and ordered her to return to her own room. She had been so close...

Trini had tried everything. Waiting, coaxing, reassuring, pleading, commanding, tempting, seducing. Despite how he looked at her, the sweet words he offered, or the taste of desperation on his tongue, he was always resolute and unyielding. He would go no further. Even when he held her, his hands never strayed. It shouldn’t have bothered her, and yet she felt as though something was missing, some vital connection they should have shared, as though the wires had gotten crossed somewhere. It seemed there was only one thing left she could do.

It would be one thing if this were some passionate, impulsive dalliance. To take what he offered and no more, to be swept into temptation until they could go no further; but not this. The whispered declarations, the Elvhen avowals of _more_ \--words almost as strong as a magically binding oath--the promise of a meeting of souls… yet an unbearable distance between them.  
  
She emerged from behind the skull, crossing the Great Hall with deceptive composure and determination. She passed table after table of important dignitaries, soldiers, ambassadors, scholars, countless beings of all races who were here to pledge themselves to her cause, or see it for themselves and pass judgement. None of them were on her mind now. She nodded wordlessly to her Dwarven companion Varric at his usual post, not pausing for their usual discourse as she passed. She opened the door behind him silently, ignoring the knowing look he answered with. Slipping inside, she shut it behind her without a sound.  
  
The usual noises greeted her within the rotunda. Soft voices floating from the library a floor above accompanied by rustling papers, the distant cacophony of her Spymaster’s flock of messenger crows, nesting in the eaves of the floor above that. From where she was standing, the room looked empty, save for a cluttered desk in front of her, but she knew that if she crossed the short corridor she would likely find the object of her thoughts, nose nearly touching one of his frescos, perhaps perched atop the scaffold, or straddling his chair. Trini softened slightly, recalling the sight with a tender fondness, envisioning all the times she had interrupted the mage to pepper him with questions. He never seemed to mind, always answering each one with a gentle smile, patiently recounting his times in the Fade, describing the way he learned things lost to time from the spirits that lived there, such as the magnificent art he made to illustrate Trini’s accomplishments and triumphs. Murals of how the people thought her sent to them by the beloved Andraste, Bride of the Maker, to herald in a new peace and order to the world, even as she battled a twisted and powerful creature who sought to fashion himself a god. Nevermind that she was an elf, raised with different beliefs from either the monotheistic society that dominated modern so-called civilization, or the pantheon of ancient dragon gods of the fallen empire that creature which called itself Corypheus came from. Even now, as she allowed the people to pray to her, worship her, invoke her name for blessing from the Maker, her face still bore the tattoo of the tendril-like tree which proclaimed her dedication to the mother goddess, Mythal. Not that the shemlens--those _humans_ \--realized that.

But that was neither here nor there. Her present quarry at least seemed impartial to religion. He concerned himself only with what could be experienced and defined; what was known or could be discovered. Her footsteps didn’t reveal her as she made her way into the circular room, trying to make sure her thoughts were in order for the conversation she was about to begin. At first, the Inquisitor thought she had miscalculated as she scanned the room, that perhaps he was elsewhere until she spotted the normally empty couch where he lay, absorbed in a book. She chewed on her lip, listening to the _shhhhhhft_ of a turning page and examined his relaxed countenance for just a moment. What expression would he have after she said what she was here to say? There was only one way to find out.

“Solas.”

He startled slightly, not a reaction he had often, and snapped his book shut as he sat up.

“Vhenan,” he answered. _My heart._ Did he mean it? Or was it just a word to him? In her clan, no one called someone ‘vhenan’ unless they intended to spend their lives together.

She watched him, watching her. Trini guessed that her clouded thoughts were visible on her face because Solas looked slightly concerned but made no move to interrupt her. Maybe it was her imagination but the rotunda sounded suddenly still, as though the inhabitants were trying to listen. Even the birds were oddly quiet.

“Can… can we go for a walk? I would like to speak with you. Privately.”

Something flashed in his eyes, unreadable, and gone as quickly as it came. “Of course.” He rose with fluid grace, setting his book down on the sofa cushion and waiting to be directed. He let her lead him toward the side door out onto the battlements, away from the large crowds and prying eyes.

“I fear I may be pressuring you too much,” she started once they were in private, trying to put him off the defensive for the discussion to come. The cool air prickled against her skin and she held her arms to herself, looking through the unpaned window of the castle tower, at the almost bottomless view over the side of the mountain. No one would disturb them here, near a section of the wall that had crumbled into disrepair long before the Inquisition moved in. There would be no wagging tongues to circulate the fate of their relationship.

She turned back, gesturing for him to sit just in time to see the small wrinkle pass over his brow, a mix of surprise and confusion. Apparently, this wasn’t what he was expecting. Suppressing a sad smile, the Inquisitor took a seat for herself on an empty crate that had been discarded into storage.

“What do you mean?” He asked, taking the seat she had indicated.

“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about last night,” an awkward pause, “I realized today I was expecting too much from you. I understand now that you don’t feel the same way about me.”

Solas made a noise of protest. “No, vhenan--”

“Shhhh… Hear me out. I’ve realized that I was too forward with my feelings about you. You must have been returning them out of pity. You may like me, but when you look at me, you look past me. Like I’m not there. Like you’re looking into some dark future that I’m not in.” Trini stood back up and walked over to the window, leaning against the sill and staring outside. Avoiding the look in his eyes, the one she was talking about. Knowing… and sadness. Pain. But she needed her resolve. If he was never going to be honest with her, she should break it off now, before either of them had regrets. “I never meant to force you into this.”

The mage cursed some ancient word she didn’t recognize as he crossed the room in two strides to turn her to face him. A gasp escaped as her heart fluttered at his closeness, a look of sorrow twisting his features.

“No!” The word was vehement, insistent as he grasped both of her arms as though to still her thoughts through her body. “You could not be more wrong. _Ar lath ma_ ,” he asserted as he steered her back to her seat and knelt before her. _I love you_. “I never intended for this to happen. I never expect you to be so… the way that you are. My distance was meant to protect you, in so doing I have hurt you regardless. I tried to warn you, did I not? I tried to stay away.”

A choked cry escaped her, but there were no tears. “Why don’t you trust me, ma sa’lath?” she demanded bitterly. _My only love_ . “You say you love me, you call me _vhenan_ , and yet you push me away.”  
  
“I cannot---”  
  
Trini hushed him again, pressing her forehead against his and letting her eyes drift shut. “I have no right to be selfish. I never expected a happily ever after. But from the moment I saw you, heard your tales of the fade, recognized you as a kindred spirit with a curiosity and passion for truth that equaled my own, I wanted you. I wanted to spend my waking moments sharing knowledge with you, spinning stories, learning. And so I did. If that’s all that was meant to be, why wouldn’t you tell me? I would have understood. I know there are other things you can’t share. Haven’t I respected that?”

“You give me more credit than I am due. I was weak. I had spent so much time in the Fade, the spirits felt more like people to me. The people…” his words faltered for a moment as his hands lifted to cup her face, pulling her closer. “The people felt hollow. You were like no one I had ever met; prudent, astute, yet still optimistic. For a moment I dared to hope there _could_ be more. But you deserve better; better than what I have to offer. You deserve a future. You would have none with me.”

Trini laughed sarcastically, holding Solas’ wrists. “The future? No one knows what the future holds. I can’t even say if I’ll survive the final battle with Corypheus. Should I die in battle without lying with the one I love? I have no expectations for tomorrow, I take each day as it comes. Do I not deserve happiness? My only happiness would have been to share all that I have with you, for as long as it lasted, come what may.  
  
“You always talk as if you have somewhere to be once this is over. If that’s the case, then _so be it_. If you would have me, I would stand by your side. If that were not possible I would have understood. I am the Inquisitor, not a child who dreams of happy endings. I do what must be done. All I had hoped for was your honesty, but if you can’t offer me that, I will relieve you of the burden.” She kissed him gently on the top of his shaved head, releasing herself from his grip as she stood, answered only by his silence and a slight working of his jaw. “I will always love you, Solas. Whether I take other lovers or find no room in my heart for anyone else. I will look back on these past months with nothing but fondness; I could never regret loving you.”

The elf rogue stepped away, heading for the front door, secretly hoping he would stop her, rewarded when he gripped her sleeve fiercely. Turning back, she saw the flash in his eyes from earlier that she couldn’t identify, now written clearly on his face. Fear… and hope? What was he afraid of?

“What you say is true, Trini.” Her heart skipped a beat in her chest. He hardly ever called her by her real name, usually only a title appropriate for the situation. “I was... occupied before Cassandra brought me to Haven, to help discover the source of the current chaos. Before I met you, and learned of the mark on your hand the shemlens believe to be from their Maker. It is yet unfinished, and I would see it through, once your cause is fulfilled. It is not something I can involve you in--not even you--especially not you. I will leave you to your Inquisition and do what must be done. It will kill me to leave you--that is why I have kept you at arm’s length.”

She nodded slowly. “I never intended to tie you down, vhenan. I always knew who you were: unattached to any clan, spending your time in the forests and the Fade, away from people. That’s what drew me to you in the first place. You seemed so… otherworldly.” He surprised her by chuckling. “Getting to know you, seeing how different you truly are, it has been my greatest pleasure. I just wanted to believe you felt the same about me.”

“Vir’in, ma vhenan’ara.” _Very much so, my heart’s desire._ The words sent a thrill down Trini’s spine. He had never added ‘desire’ before, the suffix revealing some glimmer of hope she still held, that he wanted her the same way she wanted him.

“Let me soothe your hurts ma sa’lath, until that time comes. Just know that whatever happens, you have my heart. If you change your mind about needing me in the future, or if you want to find me when your task is complete… I will not protest.” She stood him up, moving within an inch of him, looking into his eyes. Eyes which had seen so many things she couldn’t uncover. “Will you enjoy the present with me? Without fearing what may come, because the future is inevitable.”

“Banal nadas,” he murmured, smiling dryly. _Nothing is inevitable_. “The only thing I fear is you will not still feel this way later.”

“Nothing would stop me from loving you, Solas. I cannot promise I will always agree with you, but I have seen your heart. If the time comes I will say goodbye tenderly, and I will have our memories to keep me company.”

The mage slipped his arms around her waist, closing the distance between them and pressing his face into her hair. “Then will you make more memories with me, ma sa’lath? I would give you everything that I have to offer, so that I too may remember our union with joy. Swear to me you will have no regrets when the time comes.”

“Ma dirth, tel'abelas. Ar harillen dirthvaren, Fen'Harel ar halam.” _I say to you, I have no regrets. Dread Wolf take me if I defy this oath._

She didn’t expect him to laugh at her proclamation, and she frowned, assuming she made some mistake. The elvhen language was all but lost to her people, though she was doing her best to retain what he taught her. “Don’t laugh, you know I’m still learning. The intent was right.”

His answer was a kiss, the first he had ever initiated himself. It was slow, gentle, almost timid--nothing like the hungry few he had returned to her previously.

“I do not mock you, vhenan. What you said was perfect,” he pressed their lips together again and Trini sighed happily, melting in his arms. “You are perfect,” he whispered. She held his face in her hands and pulled him back in, deepening their kiss into deliberate exploration. They were alone now, and she fully intended to redeem her oath before letting him escape her. To her joy, Solas seemed to have the same in mind, as his hands finally-- _finally_ \--began to wander. Through her hair, over her shoulders, up her hips, into the ties of her tunic...

The door burst open.

“Inquizzitor?”

The woman in question nearly leapt out of her skin, jerking away to repeat the curse she had heard Solas utter earlier.

“What is it Leliana?” That damn Spymaster. _How does she always know where to find me? It must have been one of those blighted birds._

“The rest of your advisors have gathered at the war table, my lady--” her thick Orlesian accent cut short as her eyes fell upon the pair in deep embrace. Her sharp green eyes followed closely as the apostate cleared his throat and gently disentangled himself. “I am very sorry to interrupt, Your Worship. But we had an appointment today, no?”

Trini made an annoyed sound between her teeth and turned to look at her friend. “Yes, of course, I’ll be right there.”

“Certainly, Inquizzitor, I will… give you a moment to compose yourself.” She smirked slightly behind her hood as she exited and closed the door in her wake.

“I will not keep you, vhenan.” Her protest was cut short when Solas pressed his fingers to her lips, then leaned in to whisper low into her ear, “Rest assured, you will find me in your chambers after your council, ma haurasha.” She shivered, unable to interpret the phrase except through the tone in his voice; dark, and full of promise.

It was clear she would have trouble concentrating during this meeting. At least it wasn’t very important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those curious, 'ma haurasha' literally means "my honey" where 'honey' is used to describe sexual lubrication or arousal, female or male.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The dirty deed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: "I'll have this up within a week!" *two weeks later*
> 
> Dedicated to Faintdegree for asking for it.
> 
> While writing this I listened to Leave a Trace by Chvrches on repeat for about... 5 hours? I really love this song and how it fits with the Solevallan theme, so if you're into that sort of thing, you can give it a listen https://youtu.be/JMM5niLF5Jo while you read.
> 
> I hope it's alright, don't forget to leave a comment!

“Well, that’s not up to you, is it?” The Knight-Commander was saying. His voice was sharp before he turned to her and asked, “What do you think, Inquisitor?”

Trini startled, looking up from the War Table at her advisers. The lot of them were bickering about something again, but she was barely listening. Fortunately, by the time she realized her mistake, the three of them had all re-iterated the case in order to vie for their own approach. It was all the usual, of course; Josephine could call in a favor, Leliana may have or be able to find some information to use against someone, or Cullen could send soldiers around to knock in some heads.

“It’s way too much hassle,” Cullen insisted, “just send in some forces and be done with it.” He was glaring rather fiercely at Leliana who returned the look coldly. She must have suggested something underhanded again.

“No, no more forces,” the Inquisitor sighed. “I appreciate the suggestion, but I don’t want us spread out any thinner than we need to be. Even with our new recruits… We can’t afford to be marching across Thedas while also trying to maintain refugee stations and preparing for Corypheus. We need our boys—” she glanced at Cassandra, “—and girls in top form.” Rubbing her temples, she glanced through a window. How long had they been in here? It was getting late. Was Solas still waiting for her, or had he given up? “I don’t really want to go and waste any of your personal favors, Josephine, but I agree that this matter isn’t worth the effort it would take for Leliana to resolve. Is there any other way we can handle this?”

“Oh this wouldn’t be a personal favor, Your Worship,” the Ambassador answered, “The Inquisition earned this one.”

“Then you’re sure this is a good use of it? It wouldn’t be wiser to use this on something more important?”

“There is little else we could do with it, of that I am sure. I write one letter, slip in a few coins, they handle everything. The situation is resolved, someone else owes us a favor, and our influence continues to grow.” Josephine sounded very pleased about the whole affair really. Even her trilled ‘r’s seemed particularly enthusiastic.

“Good. Then I will trust you with the particulars, Lady Ambassador. Is there anything else?”

Everyone consulted their relevant tablets, even pausing to once-over a few scraps of parchment discarded on the war table before shaking their heads.

“No, Inquisitor, that’s all for today.”

_Thank the creators_. Trini had to swallow an audible sigh of relief. Honestly, she was a little proud of how well she had faked her attention. She didn’t even recall who Josephine was going to write to, or why. But the Ambassador was always capable with such things, and diplomacy was often the smartest way to go.

She was already half way through the door when Josephine called out to her.

“May I have a word, Inquisitor?”

She bit her tongue, hard, and paused to let the advisers all file past them.

“What’s up?”

There was a moment as the ambassador allowed the corridor to clear, waiting for them to be alone.

“Is everything alright? That is, you seem a bit distracted today, Your Worship. I don’t think the others noticed, but…”

A soft laugh escaped her. She was worried it might be serious, but of course the sweetheart was just checking on her.

“Maker, yes!” She was a little breathless as she invoked the shemlen deity, linking arms with her friend. “Don’t tell anyone Josie, but I have a date tonight.” Well, not exactly a date. But close enough.

They giggled together for a moment as though they were young again, without the weight of the world resting on them. Josephine could have been back in Antiva, perhaps, and Trini was back home, gossiping about the boys from the neighboring clans, wondering who they’d be promised to.

“But he’s waiting for me! As PR of the Inquisition, you’ll be the first to know how it goes,” she joked.

“As your _friend_ , I hope you won’t spare any details!”

They traded excited smiles before Trini gave her a peck on the cheek and darted off.

Her heart was already in her throat when she finally made it back to her quarters. Had she ever been this nervous before? What was there to be nervous about? She certainly wasn’t a virgin. But, she supposed, things were different with Solas. The man engaged her in ways she had never experienced, to say the least. Each step up her private staircase was a step deeper into contemplation. She had faced mercenaries and bandits, defeated Templars and vanquished demons, and slain dragons without batting an eye. She had tumbled with far more intimidating lovers with laughter on her lips; but for some reason it was this apostate who took her breath away. Maybe it was because… it meant something different now.

Inside the inner chamber of her quarters, her eyes fell on his back as he leaned over her balcony, watching the quickly darkening sky. When she failed to call out, he turned to smile at her, offering his hand. All of her girlish excitement fled in that moment as she approached him. It dawned on her that she viewed him almost like a _hahren_ ; a respected elder. Not quite a Keeper, but someone whose wisdom and maturity garnered esteem. For a moment she felt like a silly school girl with a crush on her instructor—but she shook it off. She was a great leader in her own right, and surely if that had been the case, Solas would never encourage her affections the way he did.

“Vhenan.” He smiled as she linked her fingers into his, joining him on the balcony. All traces of daylight were just about gone and a handful of stars had already begun to blink into existence.

“Vhenan,” she smiled back.

His blue eyes pierced her keenly for a moment, some unspoken question dancing behind them. Trini could tell she was losing her nerve as she shied away from his gaze, focusing on the sky instead. Suddenly her worries seemed ridiculous in that moment. What had been her hurry? She felt like she could be content just to stay like this for a very long time.

“How was the meeting?” Solas gently inquired.

“The usual,” she murmured back. “Nothing critical.” She could still feel him looking at her.

“Is something on your mind?”

She blushed slightly. “Just enjoying the moment with you.”

His fingers tightened on hers and he made a slow step forward, close enough that their chests were nearly touching. But he only watched her like that for a moment, giving her the chance to back away if she wanted. Warmth washed over her as she looked back up at him. His intensity never wavered.

“Listen, Solas…” Her grip adjusted, taking both of his hands into hers as she played with his fingers. “I don’t want you to worry about what I said earlier. Maybe I was being too hasty. I’m happy just to have you by my side.”

His hands tensed in her hold. “Have you… changed your mind?” She couldn’t read his tone of voice.

“No, not at all.” Trini shook her head emphatically. “I meant every word. What I’m trying to say is… I don’t want you to feel pressured about this. My door will always be open to you, but nothing will change how I feel about you. Spending this time together is enough for me.”

His mouth twisted slightly as he lifted her chin with the crook of his finger. “You’re not making this any easier for me, vhenan.” He murmured as he studied her. But he snaked his arm around her waist, swallowing her confusion with a kiss. “I want all of you,” he whispered, his voice so low she had to strain to hear, but the timber of it made her quiver. “If you’ll have me.”

Her only answer was to pull him back down and press their lips together. She was trembling with more than just desire, her desperation fueled by an unfamiliar ache in her chest. She didn’t mind when he picked her up and sat her on the banister; she could fall off for all she cared right now. The adrenaline that rushed through her left no room for fear.

So it was no small disappointment when Solas extracted himself from her grip.

“Before we continue, there’s something I need to say.” His hands were warm where they held her hips through her breeches, and his tone plucked a note of concern just loud enough to distract her from it.

“Anything, Solas.” The last thing she wanted was to drive him away after they’d come so far. Well, emotionally.

“Your vallaslin…” _Well, **that** was not where she thought he was going._

“My vow to Mythal?” Her fingers fondly brushed the familiar marks on her face.

“There is no easy way to say it… In the time of ancient Arlathan, they were slave markings. Nobles marked their slaves to honor the gods they worshiped. Over time, the Dalish have forgotten.”

A bout of vertigo unrelated to the sheer drop behind her worried a pit into her stomach.

“Slave markings...?”

“Yes. I’m sorry; If you like, I know a spell.”

Trini’s head spun for a moment. Her people considered the tattoos a great honor for an elf who came of age. She had chosen hers very carefully when she dedicated herself to the goddess she admired most. She had to think about this. On the one hand, she could hardly justify throwing away _all_ of her beliefs over the information a single man had brought into her life over the last year, compared to the decades of tradition embedded in her people. Though he wasn’t just any man, and she trusted his information. On the other hand, it would promote her Herald of Andraste assertion to remove it. She might even be able to spin a ‘Maker cleansed her with His own Hand’ angle. Propaganda aside, she wondered how it would feel to look in the mirror in the morning and see the tattoos that had once daily affirmed her goals for justice and integrity, knowing it marked her as sold for property.

She tilted her chin defiantly, “I am no man’s slave.”

He kissed her again, and she had to close her eyes to protect them from the magic that lit his hands when he lifted them to her face. It washed over her, an overall much more pleasant experience than when the blood writing had been driven into her skin. She barely noticed when he was done, the tingling of his magic blending into the feel of him running his fingers through her hair.

“Ar lasa mala revas,” his expression was profound when she looked at him again, “You are free.” Her heart ached again with the gravity of it. “You are so beautiful.”

She kissed him hungrily, needing to show him what she had no words to express. Her feelings must have been conveyed successfully when he lifted her again and lured them back into the room with his lips and fingers. She nipped at him gently, grasping for the belt that cinched down his tunic, unable to describe the _relief_ when she was allowed to work it free of the buckle. In return, he loosened the laces of her bodice, popped open the busk and dropped it onto the floor. Both of them worked with a quiet urgency, plucking laces, peeling off layers: her vambraces, his tunic and shirt, her chemise, and after an impassive deliberation, he lifted his jaw bone necklace and set it down. Then finally their breeches. In spite of her eagerness, she barely had time to look at him, to finally see him, by the time they got to her bed.

Solas kissed her forehead gently and waved his hand, surprising her with the flicker of small flames that lit dozens of candles all over the floor. She laughed breezily at the sight.

“Is this what you were up to while I was in the War Room?”

He smirked. “Do you like it? I wanted you to be comfortable tonight.”

“It’s beautiful. You must be quite _proud_ , Solas.”

He snickered despite himself, “Oh, truly original, vhenan.”

Their laughter dissolved into more kisses as she let her hands wander over his frame. Every inch of him was much firmer than she expected from a mage, but then, he was unlike any mage she had ever known, so nothing about him should surprise her anymore. Not even the size of his erection pressed against her leg.

Hungry eyes and hungry mouths sought their fill, until Trini couldn’t take it any longer and pushed him down, climbing into his lap. He urged her to wait, laughing when he lifted her easily and laid her down. He pressed her into the mattress, wordlessly telling her to be still as he kissed her neck, and then her collarbone, and then her breasts, her ribs, her navel, her hip, her thigh…

She genuinely thought the anticipation would kill her as he teased her body on fire; even her persistent squirming did nothing to help. He was determined to move at his own pace. Fortunately, her wait was not long when he finally pressed his mouth against her need. Happy whimpers escaped her when the heat of his attention pooled into a molten core in her center. There was nothing shy about his affections as he held her hips in place with astonishing strength. She reached for him, blunt nails grazing over his scalp, and the look he gave her when their eyes met made her fly apart.

For untold moments her awareness left her, replaced by the release of pleasure that flooded her as she called out for her lover. It was disorienting to experience after going so long without, in a time when her life depended on her consciousness. But when her body finally calmed, still shaking from the force, she knew that no danger could reach her in his arms. He was smiling at her when her vision cleared, kissing her gently through her throes as he murmured thoughtfully, “So much power in such a small form,” and the tenderness she witnessed made her dive for him and kiss him senseless.

This time, Solas made no move to stop her when she pinned him to the bed and straddled him. If anything, he was amused by her voracity.

The taste of herself in his mouth was intoxicating and she made easy work of chasing away the traces of it. Together, she lowered herself onto him. They both gasped as he slid in easily, needing to pause for a time. The feel of him inside her, filling her and brushing at her center was _right_ beyond reason. He was the only thing anchoring her anymore, and now she was joined with him as fully as possible. Her thoughts drifted back when his fingers traced over her legs, trailing magical frost that melted into her heated skin and sent cold sparks of pleasure through her. The contrast was intense, to say the least.

From there, their union was a slow build of passion. Foreheads pressed together and mingling breaths, her body opened to him by his magicked touches and considerate strokes. The sincerity of the act, holding Solas and being held by him, made it easy to lose herself in this. She was falling, further than she ever had before, and she let herself go without reservation, tumbling over the edge in his embrace.

Climax after climax passed through her. At first it seemed he could hold her like this forever, a steady pace that that slowed only once or twice, when he would suppress a shudder and hold her close. Trini swiped a droplet of sweat making its way toward his eyes and kissed every inch of his face. She wasn’t sure if she could last much longer, each wave hitting her with an intensity that felt like she would faint. Whispering in his ear she coaxed him to continue, taking charge of their movements herself. And when just when she thought her body had reached its limit, another ripped through her harshly, seizing her body, drawing her taught and her moans rose into a scream. Solas pulled her down once more and snarled his own release as he bit into her neck, the sound rippling down her spine.

Fading back into reality from wherever their ardor had thrown them, they clung together for balance, trembling, gasping, slick against the sweat of each others’ passion. She wished this moment would last forever. Of course, that was not feasible in any way, because soon their bodies cooled and their hearts calmed. He kissed her again, separating themselves slowly, lowering her back down and detangling himself. Every movement was shaky as though coordination had fled them both.

“Stay with me?” She asked him quietly, fretting that it was his intention to return to his room. Although tired, his expression was still kind when he pressed his lips against her forehead in reply.

“Of course, vhenan,” he murmured, laying beside her. She scooted closer, threading her legs through his and draping her arm over his waist. He returned the gesture, pulling her in and stroking her hair. “How are you feeling?”

“Wonderful.” Pressing her face into his chest and getting comfortable enough to fall asleep like that, she mumbled, “That was well worth the wait.”

His breath rustled through her hair when he chuckled. “Then I am glad.”

But she was already asleep. With another gesture, he snuffed the candles and lit the fireplace, and then drifted off to find her in the Fade.


End file.
